


White Collar Crime [T]

by Calandiva



Series: The Misadventures of Magnus Bane [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 02:23:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19880029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calandiva/pseuds/Calandiva
Summary: Alec has always loved listening to Magnus tell stories of his past. On a night out together, a conversation with Maia has Magnus recalling one of his not so great ideas. He's lucky Alec loves him.





	White Collar Crime [T]

**Author's Note:**

> Rated T because you Know How They Get sometimes. All implications here, no description.
> 
> Spoilers for S2 E07&09 specifically, but I’m playing pretty fast and loose with the timeline as well as Magnus’ age & history here. Post finale, pre-Alicante? This one seriously got away from me, so have some fluff with and extra serving of fluff.
> 
> Also I am very much not a history buff. Sources I lifted from are listed at the bottom, but if there’s anything glaring you think I can change for the better, feedback is welcome. Otherwise, suspension of belief is much appreciated!

“One classic gin martini, one Old Fashioned” Maia slides the drinks over the bar with a flourish. “And please, no more hustling the Seelies at pool. The new Queen doesn’t _get_ you two yet. Understood?” She glares at the two men before her, derisively.

Alec rolls his eyes, but Magnus tips his head down ever so slightly in acknowledgment before handing over an excessive amount of money for the two drinks.

“Magnus you don’t--” Maia starts. 

“Maia my dear, remember what we discussed last time we were together?” Magnus says conspiratorially before winking. He grabs his husband’s free hand with his own as they walk towards the back of the bar.

“So, what was that about?” Alec nods his head back in the direction they just came from. “I didn’t know you and Maia ever…” he trails off, uncertain he wants to actually finish that thought.

Magnus’ eyes go wide, eyebrows shooting up to his perfectly (magically) coiffed hair. “Oh, God. No. No. Not at all! The last encounter I had with Maia was here. She tried to refuse payment then, as well. Noble, but foolish. Every so often people need a reminder that those of us that are blessed with immortality should not be stingy in spreading their wealth around.” He gives Alec a small smile and squeezes his hand as they sit at a free table.

“Oh...I guess...guess..I had never..hadn’t thought of it like that.” Alec stutters, and for just a moment Magnus sees the timid and demure boy that he was when the two were introduced. It makes him feel warm down to his soul, knowing how far his Alexander has come. It takes Magnus only a fraction of a second longer to realize Alec is no longer looking at him, but down at their intertwined hands. There’s a lingering blue magic settling back into his skin. 

“I’m sorry about that, Alexander.” Magnus winces, glad they’re in a Downworlder bar and not among the Mundanes as originally planned tonight. 

“No harm done.” Alec smiles easily and flexes his fingers to show off, and then drops his voice an octave “It’s not often you lose control like that, though. What were you thinking about?” 

“You, of course, my love. Always you.” Magnus grins. He can see the heat in Alexander’s eyes, and although he’s confident in how their night will end, he’s not ready to call it in quite yet.

Instead, Magnus gives his hand a final squeeze before releasing it and says “You know, I wasn’t always as free-handed with my funds as the man that sits before you today.”

“Is that so? That’s hard to imagine.”

"Oh yes, once upon a time I’m afraid I was quite stingy. I’m embarrassed to admit that I was never quite good at paying people a fair wage - or rendering to Caesar what is Caesar’s, to borrow the phrase.”

“So you were a regular old Scrooge?”

“That’s quite a funny story, actually…”

“Magnus, by The Angel if you’re about to tell me that _you_ inspired Charles Dickens to write _A Christmas Carol_ then I won’t be sleeping with you again until _after_ Christmas.” Alec’s grip on the rim of his martini glass was so severe his knuckles had begun to turn white.

“Very well, I won’t tell you then.” laughs Magnus.

“ _Magnus Lightwood-Bane!”_

“I’m only joking, Alexander. I had nothing to do with Dicken’s work, as far as I am aware.” Magnus leans over the short distance to kiss his husband, mollifying him for the moment. “I’m afraid my life lesson was significantly less grandiose than dearly departed Scrooge.”

Magnus pauses to take a sip of his drink. He knows that Alexander would never hold any of his misdeeds against him at this point; part of the whole “being married” deal they vowed to each other. But it was still an ugly moment in his past. Steeling himself, he carried on.

"What I said about rendering unto Caesar-- I’m afraid I was being quite literal. You already know that I lived through the fall of Rome. Several years prior, I had acquired a significant amount of funding through gladiator betting at the Colosseum. I won’t lie to you, I used magic quite frequently to make sure I got the desired outcome. I still sometimes dream of the injuries that I caused in the pursuit of wealth.” Here, Alec gives an encouraging nod and Magnus smiles, reassured.

“What you may not know is that gambling in Rome was not a taxable activity at the time. It wasn’t even technically legal unless during Saturnalia, making it a holy activity. But the officials always had underground games. It was easy for someone like me to join in. So, I built up my wealth. My mistake was in not moving on quickly. When the Tributum tax was levied, I simply ignored it.”

“Tributum tax?” 

“It was a tax specifically collected against anyone living in Rome that was not of Roman descent. My East Indian skin made me an obvious target.”

“So...what happened?” Alec had finished off his drink and was now enraptured in Magnus’ storytelling.

“I am embarrassed to admit this, darling, but I was caught off guard. I was still a relatively young warlock at the time, so when the tax collectors came to my door, I simply let them take me away. I may have been greedy but I had no desire to hurt them. I was placed in a cell with the other delinquents and made to wait for hours with no food or water. I realized then how fortunate I was. The people that surrounded me were immigrants as well, but they were in rags, emaciated and malnourished. A terrible fate that I had avoided simply because of my magic. When I was brought before the tribunal, I did the only thing I could think to. I plead ignorance. I told them I had no knowledge of the tax.”

“They fell for that?” Alec asked, dubiously.

“No. I found out after being released that they had ransacked my home, took anything of value they could find. Luckily my fortune and spellbooks had all been warded. After that, I didn’t see much reason to stick around. I took half of my wealth and donated it to a local orphanage before talking my way onto a ship leaving Rome for an expedition. Since then I have tried to be mindful of my good fortune. You know the rest of the story.” Magnus smiles carefully, the barest hint of color at the top of his cheekbones

"Wow, that’s quite a story. I can’t believe I’ve never heard that one before.” Alec laughs, “Leave it up to you to get arrested for tax evasion, the most Mundane white-collar crime in existence.” He stands up and offers Magnus his arm, who takes it gratefully. “C’mon Al Capone, let's get you home. I had other plans for you, but maybe we should just play Criminals & Tax Collectors, hmm?” Alec wiggles his eyebrows and quickly leans down to peck his husband’s forehead.

“You do keep promising to tie me up, darling.” Magnus whispers dramatically, before dragging Alec out the back door of the bar and conjuring up a portal home.

**Author's Note:**

> Fic originally inspired by [this tumblr post](https://i.imgur.com/lFdxtG7.jpg).
> 
> Tax Sources: <http://www.ancientsandals.com/gambling-at-the-colosseum.html>  
> <https://www.communitytax.com/ancient-taxes-around-world/>  
> <https://www.historybyday.com/pop-culture/top-8-famous-tax-evasion-cases-in-irs-history/>
> 
>   
> As always, questions, comments, concerns, feedback, rants, etc can be directed to me here or at <https://calandivawrites.tumblr.com/>


End file.
